Resident Gear: Thet Tale of Many Seks Butts
by xXBloodyAnimeWristsXx
Summary: Otacon and Wesker make babies? Epic lOVE TRIANLGE, WIll OTTACON HAVE HIS KOKORO SMASHED! SOUL CRUSHING. HURT BORKEN STORY. reaD READ READ!1 MPREEEEEEEEG.
1. Chapter 1

( AN: Koneechiwa every body! This is mah first fanfic so i hope you enjoyeeeeeeee! ^3^ I have been reading lots of anime to work on my Japanese, so I thought I would toss some of that in! Hope ou dont mind! ;3 33)

Chapter one: Stuck on you

It was just another ordinary day for otacon. Luckily he hadnt peed himself today. He was sitting at his fabulous desk, reading his super kawaii anime when his secret lover burst in the room.

"Hello otacon I am looking oh so handsome and my shirt is suddenly open?" he purred in a sexy voice.

"Ooooo mr. wesker!" Otacon crooned, putting a hand to his forehead. Wesker caught otacon before he fel and gazed intensley at his seksy lover.

"Yaranaika." wesker growled. "And I'll keep my sunglasses on."

Oacon made a duckface at wesker and gazes into his burning eyes.

Meanwhile... chris redfeild sits in his bathtube playing with himself (lol no jk but that would be totaly sugoi) he instead was bathing with his best tomagachi ( that means friend for all u english bakas) mr. andrew (lol see what i did there) the rubber duck.

"GA-GA" said mr. andwew.

"SWEET DICKEN MR ANDREW MY GAYDAR IS GOIN OOOOOFFFFFFF!1" (no im not a homophobe bakas) screed chris.

Chris jumped out of the tub,

"goodness gracious me-oh-my!" he said ripping his clothes off, only wearing a banana hammock. Chris ran out of the bathroom clutching his shitr.

"Wiat for me!"

"ASDFFGHJKL:!" Super sonic blubbered as he ran into chris.

"OOT OF MY WAY U STUPID FURRY." chris screamed as he threw ss through the roof. ( I hate furrys, thier grose...besides wolf ones. I like wolf ones. wolfs are awesome.) He thne continued to sprinted, so hard that his boots caught on fire.

Meanwhile...

Wesker stooped in the middle os their seksy time (its really hawt omg)

"wait" he said. otacon looked up at him, his blue eyes sparkling. "someones coomin'!" he yelled dramaticly. "we must get out of her!" He stood up taking otacon with him ( LOLOLOL he was still stuck on ottykun)(thats his nickname. so kawaii) and he dashed out the door!

The door flew open and chris tumbled into wesker and ottykun and they fell into the ground a huge tangle of legs and stuff.

" Great dickenstits" said chris wit super kawaii eyes. Otacom came unstuck to wesker and grabbed him dramatically. Wesker had a delicious firm butt he noticed.

"wesker bby lets have a 3 way in your lab."

"okay"

So they wnet and suddenly had the overpowering desire to wave there seksyness around

"Bite the pillow im going in dry." SHouted


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hey minna! Arigato for teh reviews! Dey made meh so happey! :3 Promise to cont l8ter. Hop you gys suki this next chapter! BAI! X3

Chapter two: holy shit your ass smells sugoi

Ezio as he ttly did Leonardo on the next table. (oh em gee so hawt) Anyway, cris took out a sparkly cornabrator and put it in ottercyns ear. They all cume in 5 seconds; it was so beautiful. The room was steamy with theyre hot passhun. Otokin, lloking oh-so kawaii, said "that was so gud guies".

Den Raiden and snake (not old snake, geez) totally did it.

"chris, I luv you with am mein kokiru," wesker saied hotly. Octocun was hert brken!

Meanwhile...

Private long Scholng and Lutienit big Jhonson looked at wesker throught they're dinoculars, waiting for thier moment to reveal themselves. In tim, in tim..

Meanwhile...

"Oooooh Mr. Ezio" leanardo moaned as the cornbarator was transfered from otacons ear to his sweet glistening suteki hole. " Sopmething doe5nt smell right." ezio preclaimed as he continued to thrust the veggie into ghis ittallian lover.

"mama mia! Ita smells leika da formaldehyde!" ( I dont know the smell but i noe its bad. lemmie know if its not! 3 comment! lulzors)

"how culd you!" ottacon cried as he talkes his way all the way out of the room. "WAIT." Whesker yelled dyrmatically while hold his hand out dramatically. NO"! Chris stopped him dramatically. "dont leave yet, you need to help me clean up."

" WE DONT HAVE TIM FOR THAAAAAAT!" Ezio roared

"yea gueiz wee need to get out of here! Theres like a gas leak and if we stay we are going to DIEEEEE" lleonardo picknicked.

"WAIT: all of a sudden leon burst through tha door " theres a gas leek follow meeeee!" leon ordered and ran down the hall they followed.

Meanwhile...

Chris squeezed away from wesker but it didnt work so the ran 2gether away from the gas leak. It was realy howt and steamy and weskeres long umbrella-rod convulsed violently and it make chris moan in satisfaction. when they got away from the gas leek but suddenly they were kidnapped by a large black russen man.

" YA." se sed. " Your cummin wif us."

He took them too his house and chris had too pee really bad so he ped on his virus-y lover. otakon suddelny gasped dramatically and pointed at te sky.

"OH MAH GAWD LOOK AT THE


	3. Chapter 3

Meanwhale, "Otacon, its always ben mai dreem to cosplay hawt yaoiz with you," snak said wif hiz gleaming gates of funky asgard desu eyes. "fack my hawt butt bby i need that peanutbutter desuuuuu." But Outeecon wasn ot herd yet so he needed to get it. "Don't worry baut that behbeh. Just WANG it." seed snook. Than Weskur ped in his suit bcuz he furgot he wasnt ion man. (oh yes golden sherwers i dont like them ew those people are gROESEEEE!1234);3 But suddenry, irone man cam oot of da closet wif shelbabys dad and seaid dat peing in da suit was his thin anddat he is goiuna sooe sape. But he decided not to because Tony has too much money anyways; plus, he was on his honeymoon with Steve, so he didn't want to ruin that. nEways, thin eben doe he was makin oot wif shelbys dad. steebe waz OK wif dis because he likes da yaois. tony wuld nebur beetray stebe EBURRRRRR. (wow i wish i was stvbaby he so kawaii?)

Meanwhilw, Da guy that kiddnapped tham (was shelbys dad) but not rely (but yes reallye) so they had a hug orgy but ezio was alergik to hugs so he ded how sabishiii! but uf curse he didnt die be$ making dem da pasta becuz dats what itallians do. geez. bakas. c=3 penis haha) ne way chris was all loobed up? bcuz he was sittin net to da aoufors. in photography class. takin picters of himself nekkid, curistian kennedey was reading dis fanfin getting all hawt and stuff. he crys one sinlge manry tears bcus he doesnt want to be in dis storee but he in in neways. And then weskirs BEST FRIEND who he really hated died bcuz he ded. ded of dysinatree. like titties. Nothing worse than exhausted titties.

Meanwhile; weske was lei "omg now who will i pee oooooonnnnnnn!11111111gay!11" im almosts aout of 1st ade sprais! cris was devustaded (sp?) あなたのすべてが英語bakasアールワウは、この笑の吸殻の吸殻の吸殻を読み取ることができません！私は見ず知らずの男に触れることが好きです。 desu..*o* ne~ and den curistian kennedeh looked over MY SHOULDER AND CONTINUES TO READ THIS AS I TYPE HOLY SHIT CHRIS STOP . BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA. *slaps with tuna* (lol im so random PIE! LOL PIE MUFFINS ROFL BIRD HOUSES) and PICKLES) ((THIS IS WHY I AM SO POPULAR AT SKEWEL) HOTBODEEEEEE) I poop in chrisrs' face So they all had a jolly good time sipping tea in the olive garden pip pip I say. pass me another predsteek watson. OPPERA (SEE WHUT I DID THER)

Ok b NEwayz. ded. wesker peein on new chirs. his name is piers. otocorn(lol cuz the cornberator geddit) and sapesanke doin it. BUT SUDDENLY SARIFF WAS LIKE "IM A BUTTHOLE! I HAVE THREE BUTT CHEEKS" AND WHENT BWAMOOOOOOOO! PSHEW PEWPEWPEPWEOOOOO AND BURSTED THROUSH THE STORY. He touched errebodees butts just like loki in your book shelby lul. lul shelby u my best fridn I inclodde you in da storee! naw KT she mah burst frund. u here in my kokoro (heart oo baka) Min Xao had three candy bars and gave **uniqualaquishaelmnopishawndr a** two. OMZ I HATE DIS MATHS MY STUPID MATH TEACHR WoNT TEAH IT! NE ONE HELP?/ PLz.

Meanwhile, chrs and wesker and ezio an sarif an steve devized a plan 2 get outta der! but ottykun was MPREGNANT( 妊娠中の男性 bakas)! "Ottkunio! how CULD U!" wekser cried casuallyand nonchalantly. "who is da father?' itbe shelbys dad that hooker goin aroond un gettin abryboody mpregnant.." omgz.. "will u stil b my bf?" giggled oetikun. "so long as you mak me mpregX2!" "Oh bby I'll make you so mpreg it will hurt." And den they had many gret butt sex. And den a meerkitty pooped out of a whore an told dem to make sure dat dey scape shelbys house alaive! Ore shebby dadeh will throw a lesbian temper tantrume and sex errebody up. that wold be goose. the pkan was simple. 1st, dey wud finnish makin da babbies. two'd, they would grab guns, lots of them.

Meanwhile, they thought that there must be a way out without being captured by Shelby's father. He was scary, they thought. Just gazing upon him would make the strongest men shake in their boots. He was truly a great marvel of nature. They found out that he patrolled the dungeons precisely every ten minutes. Otacon, Wesker, Christian, Leonardo and Ezio devised a plan. A very plan-like plan. A plan, so much like a plan that, it infact, was a plan. The one plan, to RULE THEM ALL. It was a very sexy plan too. The kind of plan that plans. Itself. At night. The plan even had a . Just like whips have whips. The plan fixed itself some dinner and took off into the sunset. Ash had not caught the Pokemon, but it was okay because friendship. But I digress. It was a plan.

Meanwhile, the plan, named OPERATION PLAN, was being planned. The plan was to


End file.
